The notebook drawings are made directly with colored pencil in drawing books then torn out and joined with linen tape. Reductive in form, these drawings follow shifts in perception through time and the sensations of seeing, feeling and thinking in the periphery of lived spaces and the body. The combination of restrained forms and the central seam bring attention to their fragility and indicate the intimacy of the book as their source. I use these drawings as “notes”, gathering them in different groupings to help order stages within the paintings. Writing on the back, which I call “notations”, are conceived in conjunction with the drawings, and inform the development of the paintings.
notebook drawings

this-fact (and: is 1)
2022
colored pencil on paper with linen tape
11.75"x16"
2022
colored pencil on paper with linen tape
11.75"x16"

Verso, this-fact (and: is 1)
the fact / of morning- / i am not / sure about / truth- / but i am / certain- / about the / kitchen window / defined / by the / cast of / an overcast light - / at 6:17 / in the morning / on june 14 / 2021 / as the / sun appears / in this / distinct / way. / eyes to - / the refraction / of light / on surface - / and there / is a peace- / grounded in / this fact - / of morning

it-is (and: is 2)
2022
colored pencil on paper with linen tape
11.75"x16"
2022
colored pencil on paper with linen tape
11.75"x16"

Verso, it-is (and: is 2)
there it / is- / the stone like / fact- / of day / as steady lights / make visible- / the gray / painting bricks / outside / the window- / a neutral / reality / for all / to see- / a subtle affirmation- / that we / begin / again

crack-it-goes (and: is 3)
2022
colored pencil on paper with linen tape
11.75"x16"
2022
colored pencil on paper with linen tape
11.75"x16"

Verso, crack-it-goes (and: is 3)
crack / it goes / whatever / was holding / this together- / has worn- / it’s seams / fragile- / and facade / brittle / sometimes- / everything- / has to / break- / entropy / of unending / storms- / there is / only one / direction.

stillness-inside (and: is 4)
2022
colored pencil on paper with linen tape
11.75"x16"
2022
colored pencil on paper with linen tape
11.75"x16"

Verso, stillness-inside (and: is 4)
starting / to reach / the stillness / inside- / just barely / touching / it’s edges- / but now / it is known / that it / remains / there- / away from / all the / blinking lights- / flashing colors- / and pinging sounds- / lies an / internal field- / just waiting to / let us / in- / willing to- / remains / still / and / strong

the-quiet-sits (and: is 5)
2022
colored pencil on paper with linen tape
11.75"x16"
2022
colored pencil on paper with linen tape
11.75"x16"

Verso, stillness-inside (and: is 4)
the quiet / sits / on this / desk- / a light / flicks on / and off- / in the / black space / beyond- / the window pane- / caught / off guard- / by this / silence / making / itself aware- / instead of / always being / beneath / behind- / and within-

light-holding-gravity (and: is 6)
2021
colored pencil on paper with linen tape
11.75"x16"
2021
colored pencil on paper with linen tape
11.75"x16"

Verso, light-holding-gravity (and: is 6)
the soft / blue green / gray- / of this / cloudy day / morning- / forms not / sharp / silhouettes / not entirely / invisible presence / but apparitions / slowly coming / into being- / emerging / from the / vapor- / of quiet / atmosphere / subtle / articulations / blanketed- / comforting / in their / effusive weight- / light / holding gravity- / gently.

to-seek-dimension/ claim-see-be (and: is 7)
2022
colored pencil on paper with linen tape
11.75"x16"
2022
colored pencil on paper with linen tape
11.75"x16"

Verso, to-seek-dimension/ claim-see-be (and: is 7)
a decision / needs to be / made. / to not / float- / to seek / dimension / to carve / out a / shadow- / to hold / on to / some light- / differentiate- / claim- / see- / be-

this-small-time (and: is 8)
2022
colored pencil on paper with linen tape
11.75"x16"
2022
colored pencil on paper with linen tape
11.75"x16"

Verso, this-small-time (and: is 8)
there is / the small time- / in the morning- / alone- / the space / between- / my seat at / the desk- / and the / window- / this three / feet of / space- / where the / mind grows- / and eyes / reach- / the dirt on / the window pane- / and the / solidity / of the / screen window grid- / this small time- / becomes / so full- / it makes / roots- / and provides / ground-

holds-out-its-expanse (and: is 9)
2022
colored pencil on paper with linen tape
11.75"x16"
2022
colored pencil on paper with linen tape
11.75"x16"

Verso, holds-out-its-expanse (and: is 9)
the quiet / spaciousness / of this / june morning / 5:30am / already / bright / holds out / its expanse / offers its / weightlessness / covers over / dissipates / what / the night / delivered- / the sky / can be / reliable / that way-

with-is 1 (memory - of a presence - walked in - then walked out - but not without - an embrace. - beneath all voids - and behind - all vacancies - there is - the touch - that defined - it’s lack)
2019
colored pencil on paper with linen tape
11.75"x16.5"
2019
colored pencil on paper with linen tape
11.75"x16.5"

with-is 2 (it sinks - to the bottom - then piles up - from there - a thick layer - of slow winds - that cycle - in the low parts - the inner layers. - the shadows - of loss - do not disappear - invisible at times - but - still - always - staggering - sifting - lingering - the once was - the always - is.)
2019
colored pencil on paper with linen tape
11.75"x16.5"
2019
colored pencil on paper with linen tape
11.75"x16.5"

with-is 3 (heavy reality - a dark thud - precarity - a limb breaking - from the weight - multiple points - of fracture)
2020
colored pencil on paper with linen tape
11.75"x16.5"
2020
colored pencil on paper with linen tape
11.75"x16.5"

with-is 4 (slate gray - of indifference - the cold facts - of reality - the shut down - of a possible future - it frames - this moment - hardened into - a rock - a wall - a weight. - the dim light - searches - for it’s - illumination)
2020
colored pencil on paper with linen tape
11.75"x16.5"
2020
colored pencil on paper with linen tape
11.75"x16.5"

with-is 5 (done - with words - or at least: - sentences - paragraphs - descriptions - explanations - definitions -- instead: settling into silence - spare utterances - from the pencil - and into - the deep black - of the pre-dawn - windowpane - as it waits - patiently)
2020
colored pencil on paper with linen tape
11.75"x16.5"
2020
colored pencil on paper with linen tape
11.75"x16.5"

with-is 6 (aggressively hoping - counting on - faith in - impossible miracles - blowing against - the winds - living beyond - death’s approach - seems the only way - anything else: - defeat.)
2019
colored pencil on paper with linen tape
11.75"x16.5"
2019
colored pencil on paper with linen tape
11.75"x16.5"

with-is 7 (what could - happen if - the tight thoughts - spread out - like waves - if we could - lay it all down - uncoil it - and press - out - the sharp points - watch it - lose strength - and fall down - become soft - ripple into - the distance - and allow - an opening)
2020
colored pencil on paper with linen tape
11.75"x16.5"
2020
colored pencil on paper with linen tape
11.75"x16.5"

with-is 8 (deep blue - of the - slow down - held by - monolithic silhouettes - quiet of - the almost there. - give me - your stillness - your solemnitude - hold me - straight up - to honor - my expanse - gravity - and latitude - slow power - gained before - the window lights - flick on)
2020
colored pencil on paper with linen tape
11.75"x16.5"
2020
colored pencil on paper with linen tape
11.75"x16.5"

with: now 1 (a wholeness - that once was - a place - that used - to be complete - cannot - fit there - anymore - it’s gone - behind - yet fragments - remain)
2019
colored pencil on paper with linen tape
11.75"x16.5"
2019
colored pencil on paper with linen tape
11.75"x16.5"

with: now 2 (we are not - so separate - not so - full of - individual fortitude -- the links - that bind - the inevitable - necessity - for contact -- intertwined - are our - thoughts - as we - pass by)
2019
colored pencil on paper with linen tape
11.75"x16.5"
2019
colored pencil on paper with linen tape
11.75"x16.5"

with: now 3 (an inside edge - almost indiscernible - yet it scrapes - points - cuts - it’s presence - an opening - to that - we choose - to cover)
2019
colored pencil on paper with linen tape
11.75"x16.5"
2019
colored pencil on paper with linen tape
11.75"x16.5"

with: now 4 (something - anything - solid black border - of the windowsill: - frame these visions - so there - can be - order - delineate - my being - so there - can be - expanse)
2019
colored pencil on paper with linen tape
11.75"x16.5"
2019
colored pencil on paper with linen tape
11.75"x16.5"

with: now 5 (looking for - something solid - when everything - is moving - hold onto - that patch - of blue building - across the street - it stays - while uncertainty - keeps sliding - this way - and that)
2019
colored pencil on paper with linen tape
11.75"x16.5"
2019
colored pencil on paper with linen tape
11.75"x16.5"

with: now 6 (the long line - that time - builds upon - cause - and effect - betrayals of - the living - that leave us - loss - and the - new ground - which builds - in that line - behind)
2019
colored pencil on paper with linen tape
11.75"x16.5"
2019
colored pencil on paper with linen tape
11.75"x16.5"

with: now 7 (to press hard - to walk - with deliberation - to know - the way - your way - to not - be swayed - takes a strong shield - and a sharp - mind - protect me - from all - that pushes - me astray)
2019
colored pencil on paper with linen tape
11.75"x16.5"
2019
colored pencil on paper with linen tape
11.75"x16.5"

with: now 8 (two windows - stable - like an answer - that addresses back - you know - the answer - solitude - that lets - the light in - a fortress - of silence - to buttress - a genesis)
2019
colored pencil on paper with linen tape
11.75"x16.5"
2019
colored pencil on paper with linen tape
11.75"x16.5"


in: place - in: not - in: cover - edge - not - /release - with:we:you:they - are. (Notebook drawings for Are.)
2015
Group of 8 drawings, Color pencil on paper with linen tape
94 x 16 in (overall) , 11.75 x 16 in (each)
2015
Group of 8 drawings, Color pencil on paper with linen tape
94 x 16 in (overall) , 11.75 x 16 in (each)

holds: in - this: now - this/and/not/this - :next - this. - before:stop - in: - holds:this (notebook drawings for Are: This)
2015-2016
Group of 8 drawings, Colored pencil on paper with linen tape
94 x 16 in (overall), 11.75 x 16 in (each)
2015-2016
Group of 8 drawings, Colored pencil on paper with linen tape
94 x 16 in (overall), 11.75 x 16 in (each)

are: than - in: there - /shadow - shadow/ - :was - once: - free/ - here: now (notebook drawings for Are: Here)
2015-2016
Group of 8 drawings, Colored pencil on paper with linen tape
94 x 16 in (overall), 11.75 x 16 in (each)
2015-2016
Group of 8 drawings, Colored pencil on paper with linen tape
94 x 16 in (overall), 11.75 x 16 in (each)

what-was-always
2013
colored pencil on paper with linen tape
11.75"x16"
2013
colored pencil on paper with linen tape
11.75"x16"
drawing for How-Close

curtain/there/thick
2013
colored pencil on paper with linen tape
11.75"x16"
2013
colored pencil on paper with linen tape
11.75"x16"
drawing for How-Close

link
2013
colored pencil on paper with linen tape
11.75"x16"
2013
colored pencil on paper with linen tape
11.75"x16"
drawing for How-Close

behind/
2013
colored pencil on paper with linen tape
11.75"x16"
2013
colored pencil on paper with linen tape
11.75"x16"
drawing for How-Close

through-it
2014
colored pencil on paper with linen tape
11.75"x16"
2014
colored pencil on paper with linen tape
11.75"x16"
drawing for How-Close

fade/stone
2013
colored pencil on paper with linen tape
11.75"x16"
2013
colored pencil on paper with linen tape
11.75"x16"
drawing for How-Close

was-once
2013
colored pencil on paper with linen tape
11.75"x16"
2013
colored pencil on paper with linen tape
11.75"x16"
drawing for How-Close

must.
2015
colored pencil on paper with linen tape
11.75"x16"
2015
colored pencil on paper with linen tape
11.75"x16"
drawing for :More

loose-
2014
colored pencil and graphite on paper with linen tape with drawing by Nora Handelman
11.75"x16"
2014
colored pencil and graphite on paper with linen tape with drawing by Nora Handelman
11.75"x16"
drawing for :More

wait/through
2014-2015
colored pencil on paper with linen tape
11.75"x16"
2014-2015
colored pencil on paper with linen tape
11.75"x16"
drawing for :More

/stays
2014
colored pencil on paper with linen tape
11.75"x16"
2014
colored pencil on paper with linen tape
11.75"x16"
drawing for :More

in-more
2014
colored pencil on paper with linen tape
11.75"x16"
2014
colored pencil on paper with linen tape
11.75"x16"
drawing for :More

hold:follow
2014
colored pencil on paper with linen tape
11.75"x16"
2014
colored pencil on paper with linen tape
11.75"x16"
drawing for :More

hold/yet/more
2013
colored pencil on paper with linen tape
11.75"x16"
2013
colored pencil on paper with linen tape
11.75"x16"
drawing for :More

now/yet
2014
colored pencil on paper with linen tape
11.75"x16"
2014
colored pencil on paper with linen tape
11.75"x16"
drawing for Yet:For

move:
2014
colored pencil on paper with linen tape
11.75"x16"
2014
colored pencil on paper with linen tape
11.75"x16"
drawing for Yet:For

hard-opening
2014
colored pencil on paper with linen tape
11.75"x16"
2014
colored pencil on paper with linen tape
11.75"x16"
drawing for Yet:For

new/full/able
2014
colored pencil on paper with linen tape
11.75"x16"
2014
colored pencil on paper with linen tape
11.75"x16"
drawing for Yet:For

small-begin
2014
colored pencil on paper with linen tape
11.75"x16"
2014
colored pencil on paper with linen tape
11.75"x16"
drawing for Yet:For

for:
2014
colored pencil on paper with linen tape
11.75"x16"
2014
colored pencil on paper with linen tape
11.75"x16"
drawing for Yet:For

this:for
2015
colored pencil on paper with linen tape
11.75"x16"
2015
colored pencil on paper with linen tape
11.75"x16"
drawing for Yet:For

now-
2014
colored pencil on paper with linen tape
11.75"x16"
2014
colored pencil on paper with linen tape
11.75"x16"
drawing for Close-Now

this-side
2014
colored pencil on paper with linen tape
11.75"x16"
2014
colored pencil on paper with linen tape
11.75"x16"
drawing for Close-Now

/push/
2014
colored pencil on paper with linen tape
11.75"x16"
2014
colored pencil on paper with linen tape
11.75"x16"
drawing for Close-Now

divider
2014
colored pencil on paper with linen tape
11.75"x16"
2014
colored pencil on paper with linen tape
11.75"x16"
drawing for Close-Now

/pull/
2014
colored pencil on paper with linen tape
11.75"x16"
2014
colored pencil on paper with linen tape
11.75"x16"
drawing for Close-Now

starts:
2014-2015
colored pencil on paper with linen tape
11.75"x16"
2014-2015
colored pencil on paper with linen tape
11.75"x16"
drawing for Close-Now

no-retreat
2015
colored pencil on paper with linen tape
11.75"x16"
2015
colored pencil on paper with linen tape
11.75"x16"
drawing for Close-Now

the curtain/the white one
2013
colored pencil on paper with linen tape
11.75"x16"
2013
colored pencil on paper with linen tape
11.75"x16"
drawing for Knows

turn:there
2013
colored pencil on paper with linen tape
11.75"x16"
2013
colored pencil on paper with linen tape
11.75"x16"
drawing for Knows

be/still
2013
graphite on paper with linen tape
11.75"x16"
2013
graphite on paper with linen tape
11.75"x16"
drawing for Knows

can be/done
2013
colored pencil on paper with linen tape
11.75"x16"
2013
colored pencil on paper with linen tape
11.75"x16"
drawing for Knows

break/shed
2013
colored pencil on paper with linen tape
11.75"x16"
2013
colored pencil on paper with linen tape
11.75"x16"
drawing for Knows

now:move
2013
colored pencil on paper with linen tape
11.75"x16"
2013
colored pencil on paper with linen tape
11.75"x16"
drawing for Knows

turn:know
2013
graphite on paper with linen tape
11.75"x16"
2013
graphite on paper with linen tape
11.75"x16"
drawing for Knows

blank/sheer/cover/stone
2013
colored pencil on paper with linen tape
11.75"x16"
2013
colored pencil on paper with linen tape
11.75"x16"
drawing for More:Yet

more:give
2013
colored pencil on paper with linen tape
11.75"x16"
2013
colored pencil on paper with linen tape
11.75"x16"
drawing for More:Yet

give:see
2013
colored pencil on paper with linen tape
11.75"x16"
2013
colored pencil on paper with linen tape
11.75"x16"
drawing for More:Yet

more/more
2013
colored pencil on paper with linen tape with drawing by Nora Handelman
11.75"x16"
2013
colored pencil on paper with linen tape with drawing by Nora Handelman
11.75"x16"
drawing for More:Yet

more:near
2013
colored pencil on paper with linen tape
11.75"x16"
2013
colored pencil on paper with linen tape
11.75"x16"
drawing for More:Yet

let/in
2014
colored pencil on paper with linen tape
11.75"x16"
2014
colored pencil on paper with linen tape
11.75"x16"
drawing for More:Yet

yet:more
2014
colored pencil on paper with linen tape
11.75"x16"
2014
colored pencil on paper with linen tape
11.75"x16"
drawing for More:Yet